It’s funny how one word can change everything. You never really think about it; never really consider it until it’s said and done. That one instant can change your perspective, your mood, your outlook.
A l o n e .
I was talking to my mum tonight, as all my friends were preparing for a night out. We were discussing why I wasn’t joining in the fun. It’s orientation week, after all. That’s what the whole week is about; going out and having fun. So why wasn’t I going?
“I’m just feeling weird.” That was my excuse. I couldn’t think of anything else to say but I didn’t need to. Apparently mothers know these things.
“You’re feeling alone, aren’t you?” Her answer came in the form of a question but she didn’t need to hear my reply, she already knew. Apparently mothers know these things.
Here I sit, in my house, alone on a Monday night.
My mother couldn’t be more right. I don’t think it would matter if I was surrounded by people or if I was sitting in my bed while my friends partied without me. I am feeling like the loneliest person on the planet right now.
One word is all it takes. It’s that simple. One word shatters the perfect illusion that you were trying to hold up. That even in a city full of people, a lecture full of people, a house full of friends; I didn’t feel alone.
But I do. I really, really do.